pfca friend of mine is leaving for the Rambo place, Kamboja. yes... that Rambo war country.
i don't really know the guy. i just used to exchange text messages. he is nice. he is actually a friend of a used to be a close friend of mine. althouth i don't really know the guy, but it's kinda sad to finally know that he has to go.
hmmm... no more 'good morning, good day, happy weekend, bla...bla...bla...'.
hiks.

well, i could thank him for the incident i will tell you today. because of his leaving, i finally have the guts to call him. due to my last try (before this last one), when i feel that he had rejected my phone call, i don't have anymore guts to try to bother him with my phone calls. but then i tried anyway (out of curiosity... alasan banget yah!). well. actually i tried to call another guy (the one i admire now) but... boy he was sooooooo busy with his big programme that it was sooooo hard for him to say something to me.
sooooooo sad.
but since it happens to me not just this one time (which comes not just from him but also from my love ones. hehehe), i try to take the bright side. i tried to relax. i know, HIM up there has his own great plans for me.... (cieeee, sok faithfull banget yah gue).

and it happens just the way my faith says...
although his rbt (ring back tone) is so scary, i tried to hold on. ...and by the Lord's grace... he answered me.
WOW!
we chatted for about 45 minutes. which is long enough for me...
and i got very-very-VERY happy.
when we chatted i didn't want to be the one who hung up. since i was the one who used to do that back then. and becuase i don't chat with him that often anymore, that's why i wanna make the very good use of every second i spent calling him.
although the chat was a bit odd, i think he had fun. (hopefully!).
:P

and today i got another both happy and sad story.
i went to have a meeting today. when i was sitting nicely in the meeting room, the guy i like called me (outta nowhere). happy, happy, happy i became.
my big boss actually in a room with me. so i can't do anything about it but tells the boss the real thing. and... he teased me. (malu... malu... malu jadinya gue).
when he called he actually has been on his way to find something to eat. he was suppose to take me with him. but he seemed that he doesn't really want to ask me out. (sad...sad...sad).
i finally have to say to him that i don't really wanna come. and i hung up. with no voice on the other end of the phone.
he might be upset (which is a very very small chance), he might feel weird (thinking how come this girl i don't really know is becoming ngambek?), or may be just a bad connection that he didn't hear me say anything or me didn't hear anything.
bottom line... i wish that he care alot for me.
hehehehe. (TTN banget gue!)

ya sudahlah.
like i said before, i know HIM up there, the one who really-really knows me, knows what i've been through and knows what i really-really-really wants (and that includes he knows which guy i really-really-really wants. buahahahahahahahahahahaha).

PS: i'm getting really-really tired of working.
i wanna get out. wanna find new surrounding, new work, new salary.
i can't stand being in a non-condusive situation like this one. every single thing in my sight seems very unclear.
sad.