this is it. i finally have to face it.

on sunday, at my utmost busiest day of my day, in the middle of my most ribet shooting, in the middle of briefing of my rese-est client, he sent me the sms.

we would like to request the honor of your presence at our wedding
reception on saturday, may 17th, 2008 at 6.30 pm @ k*mbang go*la r*staurant.
Pl*za sentr*l p*rking lot jalan J*nderal s*dirman kav. 47-48, jakarta.
::and**(***i) & y***a::

it was a blow on my sunday. but i did not break down as i imagine i would if i ever had that kinda message. one thing i should be grateful of, is that that message came to me on that perfect moment. i imagine if only that sms came to me yesterday. i would certainly run to the toilet and cry with no sound.

i called my best friend. we talked for about 25 minutes. she was as shock as i was when she read my forwarded sms. and the one thing i remember is that she said this beautiful prayer for me. she prayed that God would help me find someone to replace him.
my reply was, i hope God hears her.
(Dear God, i still believe you... trully!)

speaking of prayer, i absolutelly thank God for blowing this thing to me in the right moments. the thing came to me gently. first i hear a news from my best friend that he is already going out with one special woman. then, i hear another blowing news from a friend that cares. the message made me cry. the next thing is that when i was checking my faceb**k, i saw them happy together. it was a peek of their pre-wed picture.
i was sad when i saw it. but surprisingly i did not cry...
and now, the last message from him is the final one. the peak of my misery (halah!) ;)

well, again i need to emphasis i did not cry at the moment. but i did take revenge to myself. i beat myself till i'm so very tired. i watched a movie with one of my best friend. nice one actually. :)
but then at nite, i did cry. so hard untill i could not breath. silly...
the next day i promise myself i would smile. and i did. i smiled untill the nite, i watched movie (again) with 2 friends of mine in Jakarta Theatre, i remember him. i remember the time when we used to go to the movie to kill time together. having late dinners just so that we could chat... there on that place...
then on my way back home, in the taxi i think about him (again). and i got soooo sad. but still i can't cry. well, i never think that my cry could be loud enough to let relieve me. and i think that's just the reason i don't wanna break down.

you know, ever since i knew him, i always pray for him. (and God you it better than i do). i always pray for him to be happy. and as i receive the news, i should also be happy because this is the answer of my prayer. he is happy now with his chosen wife.

and now that he is happy, i sure think it is now my turn to be happy.

:)