these last 3 days may be the first moment i have ever let 'him' go. i finally learned that God really knows what is best for me that he didn't let me bother waiting for him. and that moment is the first moment i know i have let him go. i know God wants me to move on and if i were a little patient, He will provide someone best for me. :)

but these Christmas, these last 7 days to new year 2010 is also the moment that i think i have learned so much in just 7 days.
i know God loves us too much that He teaches us valuable lessons. important lessons

yesterday was my first big blow. for the first time in my life, someone is sooooo mad at me that he yelled at me and called me 'kontol'. i have never even said the word, though i repeatedly heard people said it, though most of the time is because they don't really mean it.
i cried when i heard it...
talked to someone and decided to move on...
i have set my mind that i wanna walk straight. held my head up high and move on.

i acknowledge my mistakes. and i have said sorry. coz i know everything has a reason.
i feel stupid though. i never really think it should be something you fuzz about, specially becoz actually it's a very small matter.
but the accident made me realized, made me wonder and made me make promises that i would never ever let such words ever comes out of my mouth.
i wanna spread joy, peace and love...
and i would try my best...

the second blow was when i heard for sure that my sister have had intercourse with her savaged boyfriend and that i know that she looks pregnant.
O.M.G.
no other word that could describe my dissapointment. i love my sister. i want nothing bad to happen to her. but, i hope this lesson she is having now will make her realize and this will be her new day. a mark for her that from today on she will move on.
and from this day on, her future is sooooo bright.
AMEEENNN.

love you, Dad.
;)