finally realize that i'm such a desperate woman. and not yet a desperate housewife. hehehehe.

i talked to my chatting friend, which is a friend of P, and he said it clearly that i need to be pitied... poor me!
he said, according to his conservative idea, a woman should not expose her feeling to anyone openly. and it surely not me his idea of a conservative woman. i expose my feelings openly on the net. people know for sure how i long for the one. how i love the guy... how i am one devastated woman now! :(

i think about what he said alot. he has succeed in changing my mind of reaching him. and i have to say that it is just another sign that i should stop having expectation of him. i should by now try to heal my wound and get a life... coz i sure don't think i'm alive now!

what if he really read it??
what if he thinks the way my friend thinks??

well, i gotta stop the idea. coz i gotta stop anyway...
coz if he really wants me, he should be catching me now. he should try more than just a sms to reach me...

just like the ending of my book 'can you keep a secret'...
i wanted to end that way...
i really do!

btw, last night, i dreamt of him messenging me. he was asking of how i was doing.
lama-lama gue curiga. semua mimpi gue itu kayanya bukan karena orang yang ada di mimpi gue yang mengirimkan pesan, tapi lebih karena gue sangat menginginkannya terjadi. gue-lah yang sebenarnya ingin melakukannya...
yang artinya gue belom sembuh juga.
hikshikshikss

saturday, 29 april 2006
12.20 pm

i am reading 'can you keep a secret' from sophie kinsella. easy book. coz everytime you turn the page, you'll know what the end would be. but... it's an entertaining book. i love reading it! especially when i'm on the plane. i can't help myself giggling. my friends thought i'm crazy. (well, i don't say i am not! hehehe)

i'm in love with books now. it helps me escape reality, eventhough it's just for a moment. you know, everytime i read one book, i always feel i'm the role model, the main cast myself. i imagine myself to be the person that i'm reading. hehehehe.
there was even times when i couldn't remember in which world i was in, although it was just a split seconds. segitunya yah gue! ;)

but to be honest, when i was a child, when all i was reading was only comic books and majalah bobo, i always think that i was a princess waiting to be rescued by my prince charming.
and the thought stays till now. i'm imagining myself as a girl waiting to be rescued by my prince charming. and after i am rescued, i'd be delighted to run meeting his stretched arms...

and i sure wish the dream comes true!

PS:
last nite, it was my turn to dream of him. i dream that he's calling me...

calling
Flexi ****

emangnya dia punya flexi...
dasar mimpi!